San Diego
Divorce: Child Sharing: "My Child Only Needs ME"
© Anne B. Howard, Esq, 2004 Regardless of what
you may think of the other parent, studies show that children of divorce do much better
when they have some contact with both parents. Like adopted children, children of
divorce want to know where they came from and who their parents are. California has
declared that it is public policy to ensure minor children frequent and
continuing contact with both parents after their separation or dissolution, and to
encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child rearing,
except when it would not be in the child's best interest.
Unless you can show that it is not in the children's
best interest to have contact with the other parent, the court will order you to share
your children. If you do not share your child with the other parent, the court could
change custody to that parent.
Sharing custody does not necessarily mean that your
child will spend an equal amount of time with each parent. If you and the other
parent cannot agree on how you will share your child, you may file for a hearing to ask
the judge to decide which parent will make decisions regarding child raising, including
your child's health, education and welfare (legal custody) and how much time your
child will spend with each parent (physical custody.)
Before the hearing, you and the other parent will
probably meet with a counselor from Family Court Services ("FCS").
In some circumstances, you may meet with FCS separately from the other parent. The
counselor will try to help you work out a parenting plan with the other parent. In
the meeting both parents should be looking out for what is in their child's best
interest, rather than blaming the other parent for what they did wrong.
If you and the other parent still cannot agree on child
sharing, in San Diego County, FCS counselors made a recommendation regarding your
children. This recommendation covers both legal and physical custody. When you
go to your hearing, the judge should have a copy of the FCS recommendation. The
judge will rely very heavily on this recommendation. The court often adopts the FCS
recommendation exactly as it is written and the recommendation becomes the court's
order.
You may find you and your family living with the
recommendation for a very long time. It will probably impact your life. Take
FCS appointments seriously. What you say, how you say it and your body language may
well impact FCS's recommendation and how a judge decides custody of your child. Do
not go into an FCS appointment unprepared - you may regret it. |
